Well folks, I must have missed the big UFO ship filled with aliens first encounter that were coming to make a huge announcement. Those of us eagerly curious about what would go down met up today.
Bummer. Nothing. What the freak kind of boring is that?
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My body guard was out of commission today. I 100 missed him. That sucks. I hate missing anyone. This is why I have this unbelievably cool shut down capability. I learned it from the captain of a ship, back in my Thailand days.
The waves became violent and towered over the ship. We hit a rock and it compromised the lower quadrant with a few leaks. With a push of a button, he shut down all lower quadrants and levels and he preserved the rest of the ship saving all of our lives.
I asked him how he handles the stress and concern over the 1000 passengers and cargo he handles the safety of. He said much like my ship does. I close down the compartments compromised and stressed and keep those problems locked airtight in them --until I can get to shore and do repairs. Meanwhile, I focus on the good things, my high hopes, what is going right, even if it is just my faith in God and hopes for the future safe landings.
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I heard all sorts of wild stories about this UFO first contact. One story was that it was definitely going to be 21,000 miles long and blot out the sun for 3 days.
No, that was just my friend standing in my sunlight while I was sunbathing in a bikini in the mountains. "Dude, move your ass, you are taking up my sunshine"
He said, "No No You mistaken me for a person. I am a 21,000 mile UFO and I order the planet to give up the fraud evidence, I am going to be the ruler and fix the world. Iapos;m an alien and I exist."
I take my squirt gun (that has a fancy fan that sprays with mist feel) and get up and shoot him with it until he canapos;t stop giggling like a girl.
He, gets me back by ripping my top off in front of everyone. Luckily, I spared everyone the show, with my whipping fast hands. I told everyone, "Janet Jackson, you have no more business, Iapos;m the new star in town."
I put my top back on and then a shirt, then, I proceeded to chase the ever living shit out of his ass and man was he fast
Or not. Just trying to make sure you are all awake. Iapos;m not nearly the bad girl I pretend to be here. This crap is all stuck in my mind. My mind is that of a guy, trapped in a girls body. And you wonder why I can stay celebate so long. LOL. Iapos;m damn ravenous.
We, about 50 of us met for a luncheon planning on meeting these aliens LOL. Just kidding, we just wanted to meet and created this as a made up excuse for it. We got together today and laughed about these things weapos;ve heard and fell for. I completely called it though. I said there is no way itapos;s showing and more than likely itapos;s someone smoking hashish and mixing with LSD, is a CIA experiment and feels they are the oracle of Angel messages. Then, they woke up. They ask what happened yesterday, "Dude, you have no idea you announced to the whole fucking world that a 21000 mile ufo was going to make first contact and that it was aliens that were going to expose the fraud of the govt and lies."
Dude: "No, I didnapos;t."
Other dude: "Dude, check it out, we got it video taped." Turns on video tape. Dude watches. Other dude slaps him up side the shoulder, "see, I told you so."
Dude: "Dude, should I tell the it was just the mushrooms?"
Other Dude: "No, I got you covered. I told them I saw the vision too and confirmed it."
Dude: "No body is stupid enough to buy it."
Other dude: " I think we can make money off this shit."
DUDE: Dude, letapos;s drink
Other dude: Yah man, righteous.
Meanwhile, the world is shutting down Tuesday and announcing it Truthday.
....ironically parallelling life, Truthday never comes....
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One guy was absolutely bummed. He wanted this to happen so bad he prayed for it every night. He truly thought it was the answer to the worldapos;s problems.
I dope slapped him, "You realize if it were true, they would be malevolent and do bad things to your body."...
He responded busting out laughing, "I think they already visited, then." LOL
I advised, "I think you are praying for the wrong things, though, seriously.".
He said, "Oh yeah, what am I supposed to pray for?"
I replied, "That I get my billion dollar inheritance soon and buy you a guitar and throw a big invite only party that never ends."
So, in conclusion, nothing with regard to first contact happened. We were all stood up by the planetapos;s visitors. Oh yah, thatapos;s why, because they are already here? My best guess is the holography machine broke down by the Firmament. Or, they all got drunk last night and forgot to get up for the big event. Satan was too busy burning their asses.
Next project: How to make moonshine and other laser harps.
Can you imagine us building a deadly musical laser harp? I donapos;t know why we are thinking this. It is going to surround the compound when the shit hits the fan. It wonapos;t just surround us on the sides, we will be protected above and below. Wicked cool. The beams wonapos;t be visible. We just received a grant to complete this project by next september. I completed more than half of the project. Iapos;m just waiting for the tiny silly parts for each component to complete it. I sent the project out to this trig genious at a machine shop to shoot them out. So, we will enjoy the rest of the months on improvements at our leisure.
Or maybe we will just make pancakes in the morning and call it a day, throw our oversized socks on and cuddle up on a couch and watch the fire and talk about the good old days and what the world will become when Loganapos;s run occurs to the evil ones and they realize, "Duh, this is what we worked so hard for? This is the better world, with us all dead?" "Oh.".
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