Being woken up at 7 am by a bunch of jackhammers was just the beginning to a day filled with ignorant people, shitty events like spilling orange juice on my white tee shirt, and a day of complete aggravation over something that I should never have let happen.
The moral of todayapos;s story: Actions speak louder than words.
My eyeapos;s twitching like crazy, and I felt like I was going to stroke out all day.
Today I got the dreaded feeling again, the one that only comes from particular circumstances that I always in the back of my head expect. Itapos;s that feeling, the one of feeling insignifigant, of feeling like the scum of the earth, one that shouldnapos;t exist and has no reason to. The feeling of utter shit that I havenapos;t felt since I first moved here, a feeling where I feel completely worthless and lonely. At least this time it passed quickly, it was gone in a few hours, and I was able to breathe again, and realize itapos;s not worth getting upset over anymore. I will hopefully never have to feel that feeling ever again, and that fact was strong enough to make it pass.
Iapos;m having a pretty shitty week, I just want it to be over, and I just want to take a nap and relax. Maybe get a massage or something, thatapos;d be totally necessary after this week.
At least my day ended well.
Windows open, smell of fresh salt air, the foreign yet familiar taste of clove, the feel of a chilly Fall wind on my face.
Tilt your head back and inhale. Breathe in the soothing music playing from the stereo, close your eyes, exhale, itapos;s all leaving, all of the shit that was in that tight little box in your chest, it explodes and releases.
I can breathe again.
Inhale.
Exhale.
This wonapos;t happen again, just inhale, and exhale, it will all be alright.
Youapos;re strong, youapos;re resilient, youapos;ll be just fine.
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